Lightning Round

I haven't picked up Ulysses in a month, but January was pretty fruitful for other books. It gets dark by 4:30, and is cold and rainy every weekend; plus I got a Kindle for Christmas!

Middlemarch: I am still plugging along, and still completely entranced by this novel. The story of "three love problems" is more than halfway done, I am currently enmeshed in the painful destruction of Rosamund and Lydgate. I still think this is the best English novel I have ever read.

Changing My Mind by Zadie Smith: I suppose there should be a qualifier that I have some hero worship going on with Ms. Smith, and I loved this book of rather ecletic essays even more than her novels. It doesn't hurt that the first essay is about Middlemarch, and in a later essay she states "Buffy the Vampire Slayer is the only t.v. show I have ever truly loved." My absolute favorite essay is a discussion of E.M. Forester and a celebration of a non-intellectual love of literature.

Manhood for Amateurs by Michael Chabon. This is another collection of essays, many of which have been printed elsewhere. While Smith's essays jump through pop culture and academia, Chabon focuses on family and parenthood. I especially liked his defense of being an amateur; whether in parenthood or life.

Where Men Win Glory: The Pat Tilman Story by Jon Krakauer. I am listening to this book to and from work rather than reading it, but it still counts. Krakauer again uses his journalism skills to recreate a riveting, needless tragedy; the parallel stories of Pat Tilman and America's war on terror.

The Children's Book by A.S. Byatt. I am a complete sucker for tales of large, bohemian families, and was immediately drawn into the magical world of the Wellwoods that provides the framework for this novel. Unfortunately, the second half of the book is the horrible consequences of the Wellwoods and their liberal friends inability, or incapacity to protect their children. I still have a ways to go before I am done, but this is a very engrossing novel.

When Everything Changed by Gail Collins. As a feminist, I am always a little mystified by a reluctance to admit how much better the lives of almost all American women have gotten during the last forty years. This is a journalist's detailed history of exactly what has changed from 1960 to 2010 for women in America; it is very straightforward and fascinating read.

Books

One of the best things about my new job and being done with school is a little, tiny bit of free time and a little, tiny bit of space in my brain. With this new time, I have been reading a lot - and I am finding myself drawn to novels more than I have in the past. Some of these books will remain nameless, as I am not secure enough to wave the I love trashy books banner too high.

I do have two strong recommendations from the past couple of weeks. The first is Zeitoun by Dave Eggers. I am a huge fan of Eggers and highly recommended What is the What, his last book; his last two books are way more accessible than A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius. Zeitoun is the non-fiction novel story of Abdulraman Zeitoun, Syrian-American, Muslim, father of 4, upstanding citizen, and contractor in New Orleans, LA. This story follows his odyssey immediately before and after Katrina.

I also just read The Lovely Bones - Ariel had read it almost a year ago and told me that I should try it. I started it at 8:00 last night and drank enough coffee that I could stay up until 12:30 to finish it. Susie Salmon, the 14 year old nararrator of the story, is raped and murdered in the first few chapters, and spends the rest of the book observing her family from heaven. Her prose is sharp and clear, and I loved that her perspective on the story is suprising throughout. I felt the story sort of fell apart at the end, but overall very worthwhile.

I also think I am ready to start on the quest for my own personal reading Everest, Ulysses (Actually Ulysses might be K2, and Brothers Karamazov Everest, but never mind). I have gone through most of the other big, challenging novels, but am a little terrified of Ulysses. I read in her biography that Virginia Woolf had to try four times before she could get through page 35, and then thought it was the most amazing thing she had ever read.

Nutshell

We are starting to come out of the dregs of our grey winter, and I now am feeling enough enthusiasm to blog about life again, so our family has been up to this;

•  For Spring Break we went on a road trip to Moab, the Grand Canyon, Phoenix (to visit Rene and John!), Disneyland, Stockton (to visit the Traub cousins) and Ashland, OR. Even though we covered a lot quickly - even one 16 hour day - it was a complete blast. There were so many wonderful places we got to see - hiking the Bright Angel Trail and in Arches NP made me very excited for our upcoming hiking season. My kids are definitely tough! I was so thankful for the friends and family that let us stay - having our family is a little like an invasion, not a visit, but we enjoyed our visits so much. 
  
•  The girls have started their interferon treatments for Hep C - they will get a shot a week, medicine twice daily, and blood draws frequently (lucky I can do all of this at home)...but after a year they should be hep C free and their livers should last them a good long time. They are doing awesome, even though it is hard, especially for Shkuri, who hates needles. I am really grateful for good medical insurance, so we can afford the treatment, which runs to a mind numbing 10,000$/week for both girls. 
  
• Isaac and Shkuri both turned 8!
•   My sister has been diagnosed with Myelodysplastic syndrome, which is a sort of a chronic, pre-leukemic disease. For now she is out of the hospital and living a pretty regular life (she is a single Mom, making it even tougher), but it has been very scary. We are not super close, but she is moving closer to my parents and I, so that we can be there if she needs us. 
  
•   School ends the week of June 22nd - for all of us! Shkuri and Isaac finish 2nd, Hamda finishes 1st, Elias graduates preschool, and I complete my 22nd year of college! I still have to pass my boards, but I am beyond excited about finishing school..and I have two great jobs lined up.  I will work about 20 hours a week with an M.D. who has a holistic medicine practice in town and about 5 hours a week at two jails in Grays Harbor County seeing inmates. I am terrified, because I have a lot to learn, but I am looking forward to learning it. 
  

Oh Blah De, Oh Blah Doe

Yesterday was Ariel's Grandfathers Funeral. Elmer C. Biggerstaff was 89 when he died; he was a navy WWII Veteran who had fought in Sicily and Guadalacanal. He loved baseball. He was married to Ariel's Grandmother for over 60 years and was survived by his 2 sons, 7 grandchildren, and 8 great grandchildren. His death was about as good of a death as anyone could ask for; he said good bye to all of his family and died at home. He is going to be missed.

Ariel took these wonderful photos of the kids before the funeral. The kids had all seen him  before he died and had lots of questions.  I was glad I could tell the kids that Great Pa is in heaven now. Sometimes it is nice to just believe in the simple answers rather than think too hard about the big questions. 

 These pictures are a great reminder how wonderful it is to know my kids. The absolutely wear me out, but they are just awesome people. With being so busy, this is a time in my life when it is good to be reminded that life is now - and it is worth appreciating. Right now I am home after a full day of clinicals and I am tired - but it was a really good day. I got home in time for us all to eat dinner together, and we got through homework and piano practice in one piece, and now all we have left to do is read some Harry Potter and go to bed. 

Rats

In a study of the effects on stress, Robert Sapolsky showed the rats who received electric shocks develop ulcers from the stress. If the rats had a companion rat to bite after their electric shock, however, their stress was reduced and they would not develop ulcers. 

 I think Ariel would prefer if I stick with watching the Daily Show. 

1/09

 Today I am actually enjoying a Sunday where my (daily) to do list is completed. I went to a yoga class and walked the dog. I spent time reading with all the kids, and supervised piano practice. I tried another recipe in my quest for perfect curry noodles (todays from Mark Bittman, is not the winner). I paid the bills. I studied and even read three chapters from A Prayer for Owen Meany. Now it is just a matter of sitting around and playing our new Carmen San Diego game with the kids. I know I only have another 6 hours or so to enjoy it, but it sure feels great to be home and relaxed for a bit.

  I have approximately 20 weeks/450 hours to go before I come close to completing my Masters - I still have to pass boards, but the most intensive work will be done. Ariel and I are both finding ourselves working too much, and it is hard - although we definitely feel grateful that we have work to do. I am going to work hard to finish my clinicals before school ends at the end of June, and am prepared to take some leave from work if I have to.  We are planning a road trip to the Grand Canyon for Spring Break, and I am hoping that I can take Isaac for a long weekend to either D.C. or NYC when school ends. 

 One of the most exciting things that has gone on is a job has practically fell into my lap. About two months ago a friend sent me an email about a local  M.D. who has a micropractice (which means he has no support staff, but takes up to 45 minutes with each patient) and practices Functional Medicine (i.e. naturopathic/alternative)  that was looking for an NP to expand his client base. I decided to send him my resume, thinking I would never hear from him. He rather informally interviewed me, and as it stands, he is going to use some of my clinical hours to train me to do functional medicine and has plans to hire me when I am all done.  His particular type of practice is so much more appealing than the 15 minutes in and out standard practice, and I am allowed to set my own hours. The only thing that makes it less than perfect is  lack of complete health coverage. I can't quite believe such an amazing opportunity has just fallen in my lap -if it works out, I will be 7/7 for being hired at every job I have ever applied for. 

Too close for comfort??

  In the past week, I have read two newspaper articles and listened to one radio story about grandparents living in/near their children and grandchildren. The article in the NY times mentioned that Barack Obama's MIL was going to be moving to the White House with them. Our families situation is even a little more extreme; we added on a MIL apartment to our house for my parents, and bought the house next door for Ariel's parents. 

  While I have frequent thoughts of moving away from Olympia, I have almost no desire to leave our little family unit. There are days when we are a little close for comfort - and I know there are days when our parents get a little annoyed with a herd of children running through their house, but I can't imagine a much better way to bring up kids. 

  I certainly can't imagine being able to juggle four young kids with work and school without the help of the Grandmas. Monday and Tuesday the kids go to Grandma Ruth's after school, while Wednesday and Thursday is Grandma Mariettas. I hope that the Grandparents feel they are getting as much from the arrangement as we do. 

 Tonight for movie night we watched Anne of Green Gables...I had forgotten how much I loved the story.  It was so much fun to watch it together as a family. I remember how big a crush I had on Gilbert, and now he looks like such a little kid, sigh. 

Lexus

Today at the hospital, in front of our units window...an older man in a Chevy Suburban (who had a cast on) somehow jumped the sidewalk and curb and landed completely on top of a surgeon's gold lexus SUV. It provided us and our patient's at least an hours entertainment.

Revolutionary Road

I don't have any plans to see the new Kate Winslet/Leo Dicaprio movie anytime soon, but all the reviews about it have certainly given me some pause. The plot is that of a fifties suburban family who are destroyed by their attempts to recapture the dreams and adventures of their pre-domestic life. In the story, the wife is the prime catalyst of the destruction, as she sets up plans to escape. The story hit a little bit too close to home for me. I feel like I constantly struggle with second guessing my life choices and wondering how exactly I got to be a mom of four living ten miles from where I grew up, when I pictured a life very different then this.

Of course, this is not the 1950s, and I am not some bored housewife trapped by decisions beyond my control. Still, the sentiments made me squirm. On the radio, they were discussing the movie, when a favorite talk show host of mine told a story of how he used to crave a life of adventure, but when he actually saw the lives of the war correspondants who he fantasized about being, he realized their lives were pretty hard and difficult. I have a few friends who live lives close to what I imagined I always wanted and they aren't really any happier than I am. They are often anxious about the choices and sacrifices they have made for their freedom and adventure.
At 31, I still feel like I have a lot of time to live out other lives, and to enjoy the time I have with my family now. I also try and remember that no matter who you are, life is basically filled with the mundane, and that contentenment comes from finding happiness even in the tedious. I don't know that my shlipkis is going to go away anytime soon, though.

Christmas '08

    This Christmas has been one of those great times as a family I wish I could bottle up. I worked yesterday and at the last minute we all went out to Japanese Steak House with our friends Craig and Carrie. This is the first year we haven't done something with my family on Christmas Eve, since it had gotten to stressful to have everyone over at our house. 

     When Ar picked me up from work to take us out, I thought he had lost his mind - we almost never take all four kids out to dinner, let alone with another family with 3 kids the same age. Instead, it was fantastic! The key to going out to dinner with our kids is to have a chef lighting the food on fire in front of us. We had such a good time, and also got to stop by Ar's grandparents, who didn't feel up to coming over for Christmas this year. We opened up pyjamas when we got home. Ariel had decided to wait to wrap all the presents until Christmas Eve to perpetuate the Santa story - I abandoned him at 11:00 and he was up until 6 am; wrapping presents and finishing up the sword and shields he made (from a Book of Mormon Battles website, oddly enough). 

  We finally had a white Christmas in Washington, which is lovely. We walked across the lawn to Ariel's parents (one of the keys to a great Christmas is not getting into a car) and when everyone arrived, we opened presents. We only spent about 50$ on each kid, but they were very happy with what we got them, it is truly a joy to watch them open their presents and enjoy the time with them. Ariel's parents gave us a huge suprise; a Wii - I cannot wait to play!! The rest of the day was super relaxed, instead of having a big meal we just had snacks and turkey sandwiches and played board games.  We are working on winding the kids down (Ar is very, very tired), but at the moment they are roller blading around the house listening to the Mamma Mia soundtrack. 

oh yeah, I am being productive.

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Peanut Butter Cups

On Saturday, I started off my weekend with not one, but two, interviews. Given that Friday was absolutely a day from hell (a tree fell over in our front yard, patients went to the ICU, and two kids threw giant tantrums), it might have been nice to have a chill weekend, but I wasn't going to get it.
The first was a phone interview of Ariel and I for a parenting book Marc and Amy Vachon are writing on Equally Shared Parenting. I had emailed them several months ago about an article in the New York Times that featured them, and they thought we might have some input because we pretty much split parenting equally - and we are crazy enough to have four kids between 4 and 7. The phone interview was really fun.
My second interview was a sort of job interview...I heard through the grape vine that a local M.D. was looking to hire a Nurse practitioner and I sent him my resume, although I still have at least six months to graduation. His practice is called a micro practice, and he has no employees in order to keep overhead low. This allows him to spend from between 1/2 hour to 2 hours with his patients, and he has a strong holistic base. If he were to decide to hire me, it would check off almost all of my wish list for a job (Women's Health! Holistic medicine! Part time!!) . We met for lunch, and I was expecting a straight forward job interview, but he was on a slightly different wave length...he was calm and thoughtful, and I was rather nervous and yammery. I am going to start doing some observation time with him and he is going to provide me with some holistic training. At some point I think we will decide if the position would be a good fit for both of us. Overall, the interview was pleased, but I am a bit stressed about my first impression.
The rest of the day I barely sat down; I got some Christmas shopping down and took 1/2 the kids to a friends Gladiator birthday party.
When I woke up today, I was rather wrung out and just wanted to sit around. A friend brought over her three kids this morning so she could perform at church. Later on, we met my sister and her kids and grandkids at Charlie Safari. That was definitely an excellent idea; the kids played for a good three hours on the inside jungle gym. By the time we got home I was feeling much better, I even snuck in time to watch a very good Friday Night Lights episode and work on a school project.
As the kids got ready for bed, I realized what my weekend needed to be complete: peanut butter cups. Yumm. Now I can go to bed in peace.


Ingredients
For the base
2 ounces (50 grams) soft dark brown sugar
7 ounces (200 grams) icing sugar
2 ounces (50 grams) butter, softened
7 ounces (200 grams) smooth peanut butter
For the topping:
7 ounces (200 grams) milk chocolate
3 1/2 ounces (100 grams) dark chocolate
Gold buttons and edible gold stars to decorate, or other decorations of your choice
For the base:
Directions
Place all the ingredients for the base in the bowl of a food processor. Blend the mixture until the mixture takes on a sandy texture.
Place 48 gold petit four cases in sets of miniature tart tins or mini-muffin tins (each indent about 1 3/4-inches in diameter). Use 1 teaspoon of the base mixture to fill the bases of the petit four cases. Press the sandy mixture down into the cases as best you can to form a layer at the bottom of each paper case.
Place the milk chocolate and dark chocolate together into a heatproof bowl. Suspend the bowl over a pan of simmering water (the water should not touch the bottom of the bowl). Melt the chocolate gently while stirring. Spoon teaspoonfuls of the melted chocolate onto the top of each of the sandy bases of the petit four cases.
Decorate the tops of the chocolate covered peanut butter cups with either a gold button or gold star in the middle of each and transfer them to the fridge. Let them set in the fridge, for about 30 minutes.
To serve, arrange the chocolate peanut butter cups in their cases on a clean plate.

Samaritan's Dilemma, or not apologizing any more.

I just finished reading the Samaritan's Dilemma and combined with post-election euphoria, it has made me think about what a good time it is to be a liberal. I have been very guilty of being embarassed about believing in the good government is capable of doing. After all, we all know that only bleeding heart, naive idiots believe that. This book by Deborah Stone was very inspiring; she sets a few pretty basic ideas. First off, most people universally agree that it is good and moral to help your neighbor. Second, Reaganism drilled the opposite idea into our heads: government help is bad and harmful. To need help is un-American.

The rest of the book is a very reasoned argument why help is not harmful and altruism is a powerful political force. She really rips apart the lies of the "government help is harmful" world view. I was amazed at how much of those ideas I had absorbed, even growing up in a left leaning household. We need the help of our neighbor, and we need to give that help to be a part of the democratic process. No more apologizing for wanting an American government that plays the role of the good Samiritan.

P.S. The kids have been playing together very nicely all day long. My former pessimistic mood from last post is over.

Frazzle

Today I contemplated a sad, bitter truth. I cannot stay home with my kids all day without losing my mind. I try very, very hard to be Maria Von Trapp. Instead of cute little curtain dresses and guitar solos, I have my little Von Trapps who get in fist fights every five minutes over someone sticking out their tongue. Instead of Maria, I look like Goldie Hawn in Overboard. We have been home together now for two days (Ar got his free pass day to hang out with his brother and I took yesterday off since the kids didn't have school)
My children are really lovely and they do play with each other very well, but someone always seems to mad at someone else. I am sure that just around the corner there is some great parenting technique I haven't figured out to get the kids to stop the bickering, but I haven't caught on yet. I know we only have ourselves to blame, as four kids between 4 and 7 in a 1400 sq. ft. house doesn't really sound like such a great idea. I have decided that that is what I really want for Christmas; Peace in my house and goodwill towards siblings. As of 6 o'clock tonight, I got tired enough I resorted to the lowest common denominator; the kids are all happy curled up together watching Prince Caspian.

In a totally unrelated note, I have an ARNP job prospect on the horizon! I still don't graduate for four or five months, but this job would be very close to perfect if it does work out. If it goes any further, I will certainly post more details.

Bitte, Herr Cruise

Tonight at work, the trailer for Valkyrie played ad naseum on the History Channel. All I can say is yikes. Please, Please, Mr. Tom Cruise, do not make another historical movie ever again. Your unblinking stare is scary enough in modern day thrillers, you add Nazis and I just can't take it.

Expertise

I read in the New Yorker that research seems to have zeroed in on 10,000 hours of practice being the magic number to be an expert at something. It doesn't seem to matter if it is basketweaving or brain surgery - you practice something for 10,000 hours, and you will be an expert. Today I finished my first 100 hours of clinicals as a nurse practitioner. 9,900 hours to go and I will be safe to see patients :). I also have about 9,700 hours of surfing practice before I can hit the pipeline. Maybe another 8,000 to go before I am ready to play my violin at Carnegie Hall. None of this takes into account actual natural talent, of course, but it is still comforting to have a magic number out there when I can expect not to embaress myself in front of people doing above activities. I should be way over 10,000 hours of parenting by now - and I certainly don't feel like any kind of expert in that arena.

Sayulita, Nayarit, Mexico

We are now all settled back in our routine and safe in Olympia after vacation in Sayulita, Mexico. It is a little sad to be back in dreary WA. I might love my hometown, but the weather is a bit depressing. Our family had an absolutely marvelous time in Sayulita. It is a village of about 3,000 Mexicans and probably close to 1200 Ex-Pat Americans and Canadians. I can't exactly pretend that it is undiscovered, but I thought it was a happy medium....it still felt like you were in Mexico (unlike PV, which has a WalMart and a Hooters)...but with restraunts, coffee shops and Mexican Handicraft boutiques. Since there were 9 of us on our trip, we rented a house. The house, Casa del Cielo was incredible - by far the nicest house I have ever stayed in, and the kids loved the pool. If you ever have to make kids happy, give them a pool and you will not be dissapointed. The only draw back to the house was the very, very long trek up a major hill it took to get back from the beach town in 90 degree weather.

Basically, our ten day trip pretty much followed the same routine;
6:30 Get woken up by roosters
6:45 Kids put on bathing suits and end up in the pool, or play Pig Pig with Grandpa Mike
8:00 We make it to the beach (a ten minute walk from the house), rent a surfboard and settle in in front of Don Pedro's. Everyone gets slathered in sunblock and we get some baked goods to eat for breakfast
8:00-5:00 We take turns surfing (while I lounge on the beach waiting for my turn, I read my way through six books of the Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Mysteries and three books of James Patterson's Women's Murder Club) while the kids either play in the sand or boogie board in the waves. The first few days I kept a very close eye on them, and then eventually let them roam a bit.
12:30 Get Fish Tacos from a stand and cold diet coke from a tienda (Yakult yogurt drinks for the kids) or tamales from the tamale beach lady for lunch
5:00 Trek up the big hill and get really hot and dirty, then jump in the pool to cool off once we get there
6:30 Either head back into town for dinner and hanging out around the plaza gorging ourselves on various desserts, or eat dinner prepared by our very own marvelous housekeeper, Alma.
8:30 Head to bed if the power goes out or play Carcassonne a few times

My kids look cute in Halloween Costumes

Here is Elias the Dragon breathing fire

The kids with their personally designed pumpkin faces

The kids trick or treating with their friends

Shkuri the robot and Isaac the wizard. Ariel stayed home from work to finish the robot costume

Kickball, Meatball

Passport Services is definitely one area of the U.S. government that works well. After my initial panic attack over Isaac's passport, I found out that there is a Passport Office in Seattle. Ariel and I had to take the day off work and take Isaac up to the office, but 150$ and 15 minutes later we had finished the application. We got his new passport in the mail today. Hurray for a functioning government!

Today we went to the park and played kickball with the kids and our friends Jacob and Catherine. I had thought it would be fun to play ever since I saw a group of people playing in Mccarren Park in Williamsburg, NY when I was visiting a friend in Brooklyn. I am not sure if the sport is supposed to be ironic, but we had a blast. It was the perfect sport to play with the kids - requiring no skill to enjoy ourselves. We ended up tying, and other than my accidently hitting Isaac in the face, it went very smoothly. A couple of kids playing at the park joined us. Maybe we will have some team t-shirts made next.

After kickball, we went home and I made Mellow Meatballs from Nigella Lawson's latest cookbook...this is a great recipe and very easy. You just simmer meatballs in 3 Tbs. of curry paste and a little bit of oil, sprinkle with cinammon and ground ginger, then add 1 can each of chopped tomatoes, coconut milk, and garbanzo beans, and either chopped sweet potatoes or squash and simmer for about 20 minutes. We ate it with rice.

Stupid Person of the Year Award

ACK! Tonight, as I was getting some parerwork done, I was looking through our passports. Isaac's passport expired three months ago. We leave for Mexico in a little over two weeks. How could I have missed this???? I definitely remember looking at the passports when I bought the tickets six months ago. What on earth am I going to do now??? The internet has conflicting info on what exactly one must have to travel to and from Mexico. If I had not realized this until we were at the airport would they have let us through anyway???? I won't be able to sort this out until offices open tomorrow, but I have given myself a full blown panic attack in the meantime.